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notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 07:00 pm
Read The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 30
I’m shelving travel guides when two customers walk over and start flipping through a Europe travel book.
Customer #1: "Okay, so we’ll do London, then hop a train to Barcelona."
Customer #2: "Wait, can you even take a train under the ocean?"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 06:05 pm(Pretty much all clothing is too small for me, so I wear a lot of elastic pants and baggy t-shirts. My hair is just past my chin. I’m sitting in the hallway, reading. Two students pass by, whispering to themselves. They’re getting louder and closer, but won’t look at me.) Student 1: “I’m telling you, […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 05:55 pmRead Unit-Picking
Me: "My lease address and my mailing address are the same. I have no idea what you're talking about. And why doesn't my mail count? It's a bank statement and a doctor's bill."
Employee: "They don't count because the address is different. See?"
She points to my lease, then the mail. I finally see the difference: my lease says Address, Unit Number, and my mail says Address, Apartment Number.
Read Unit-Picking
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 05:45 pmRead This Child Will Be Born On A Sundae
Customer: "I swear, I used to eat like a normal person. Now it’s like my cravings are generated by a roulette wheel."
Me: "My grandma used to say the weirder your pregnancy cravings, the smarter your baby."
Customer: "Oh good, then I’m having the next Einstein."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 05:00 pmRead All These Refunds Are Blending Together
Customer: "I want a refund. This thing’s defective."
Me: "I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the issue?"
Customer: "It only blends when I press the button."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 03:00 pmRead Not Bitter About The Butter
A woman is trying to return a 48-oz jar of peanut butter. She doesn't have a receipt, but the jar is unopened, so normally I could give her store credit. However, I have worked here for several years, and we have never sold that size of peanut butter.
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 02:30 pm
Sister-In-Law: "Oh yeah, I just threw on an old movie. They love it."
My Wife: *Knowing our youngest can be a bit sensitive.* "Uh… what movie?"
Sister-In-Law: "It's one from when I was young. Don't worry; it's very family friendly."
My Wife: "That's great, but what movie?"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 01:30 pmRead Hello From The Other Side
It's the first good spring-weather weekend of the year, and OF COURSE my husband is in bed sick with bad stomach pain and a terrible headache, and OF COURSE a batch of kids is now outside, running up and down the sidewalk in front of our windows, making everything worse. I toss on some shoes and head outside.
Me: "Hey, guys!"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 01:00 pmRead Vapid Vaping
A customer walks in, takes one look around, and immediately starts vaping. It's a big cloud and smells like peach and burnt battery.
Me: "Sir, we don’t allow smoking or vaping in the store."
Customer: "It’s not smoking. It’s vaping. Different!"
Read Vapid Vaping
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 12:45 pmMy husband was going to put virus protection on my new Ipad. Husband “I need your passcode” Before I could answer our son chimes in Son “Haha,you probably don’t even remember do you? We told you to write it down.” Me *prattles off six numbers. Son “How did you remember that?} Husband “it’s probably got […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 12:15 pmI mod for streamers on Twitch and on Discord. While most of them are smaller, community game-focused streamers, one was a partner who built up a community playing community games and being a safe, open, and caring place to hang out in. Every Friday, they would do an Afterhours hangout in Discord after that day’s […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 11:45 am(We’re using a church sanctuary for a dance rehearsal. One of my castmates, his girlfriend, and I are the first people to walk into the sanctuary and the lights are still out.) Me: (jokingly) Let there be light! (The lights immediately flicker on.) Castmate: Whoa. (to his girlfriend) [My name] is magical! (The girlfriend stared […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 11:30 amnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 11:00 amThis takes place when I’m a preteen, over several years. When I was around six, a level 3 sex offender moved onto my street. My mom was very diligent in warning me and my two younger brothers to stay far, far away from him. Flash forward to me taking swimming lessons. I get through level […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 10:30 amI’m the customer. I’ve just gone on a food assistance program, and when I get my card I haven’t eaten for days. There are premade foods including burritos. Some are cold and some are under a heat lamp, but otherwise the exact same. It’s winter so I take the warm one. The cashier won’t sell […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 10:00 amnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 09:30 amnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 09:00 amnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 08:30 amnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-13 08:00 am