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notalwaysright_feedRead The Ambigrams Would Like To Have A Word…
A woman has had her necklace engraved with her name. She's come into the store to collect it and tries it on.
Customer: *Looking at the necklace on herself, in the mirror.* "Oh, that's disappointing."
Me: "Oh no! Is there an issue with the necklace?"
Customer: "It's just that in the mirror, my name is reversed."
notalwaysright_feedRead Going The Extra Yard To Explain It
Me: "Uh, mate, that's not a metre."
Colleague: "Three feet to a metre."
Me: "A metre is a hundred centimetres, so that's not true."
Colleague: "No. Three feet to a metre. Always has been."
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Me: "Sorry, ma'am, this is a final-priced item. I can't return it."
Customer: "Where does it say that?"
Me: "It says at the bottom of your receipt."
Customer: "But I wouldn't know until I bought the item."
notalwaysright_feedRead Missing In Inaction
He informed me that he'd been putting me on schedule and it was unacceptable that I wasn't even coming in to look. If I didn't show up today, he would have no choice but to fire me.
I asked, "Did the old manager not take me out of the system after I quit last year?"
Read Missing In Inaction
notalwaysright_feedRead Only Mostly Insulted
A group of young customers is whispering among themselves, having a debate about something. Finally, egged on by the others, one of them approaches me and says:
Customer: "If I said to you to never get involved in a land war in Asia…"
Read Only Mostly Insulted
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I work as a graphic designer. One day, a client wanted me to put a logo into his ad I was working on, but he sent me a very small JPEG file of the logo. It would be impossible to use for a printed ad.
notalwaysright_feedRead A Beautiful Teachable Moment
Clerk: "Military or first-responder discount?"
Me: "Sorry, no."
I hold up my school badge.
Me: "How about for teachers?"
smartbitches_feed
Tourist Season by Brynne Weaver is $4.99! This is book one in a new series and it came out last year. Weaver’s books are pretty popular, so I won’t be surprised if there are still lots of holds. I do love Weaver’s blend of dark humor and romance, but often find the pacing to be a bit lopsided in her romances.
Welcome to Cape Carnage! Visit Once, Stay Forever.
Cape Carnage is a seaside town of colorful houses, quirky shops, and an unusually high body count. But with tourists comes trouble, and Harper Starling won’t let anyone ruin her picture-perfect home. A skilled gardener with killer instincts, Harper protects her sanctuary at any cost—especially for her aging mentor with a fading memory.
Troublesome tourists don’t check out of Carnage. They compost beneath Harper’s award-winning flowerbeds. But Nolan Rhodes isn’t your average tourist. Devilishly handsome, disarmingly charming, and skilled with a blade, Nolan is relentless in the pursuit of revenge. On every anniversary of the hit-and-run accident that fractured his life, Nolan slays another target. And he’s saved the best for last: the undeniably beautiful Harper Starling.
The problem? Harper isn’t the monster he expected. And she won’t go down without a fight. When an amateur true crime investigator comes to Cape Carnage on the trail of a long-lost serial killer, Harper and Nolan strike an uneasy truce. If Nolan helps Harper protect her town, she’ll keep quiet about his hunting habits . . . for now. But their alliance soon spirals into obsession, one that threatens to shatter every secret in Carnage—including their fragile love.
Tourist Season is a darkly funny, slow burn enemies-to-lovers romance where destruction and desire are balanced on the edge of a blade—and where love is the most dangerous battleground of all.
The Isle in the Silver Sea by Tasha Suri is 99c! This is a standalone f/f romance between a witch and a knight. So many lady knights lately and I’m loving it! Suri’s previous f/f fantasy romances have come highly recommended.
From World Fantasy Award-winning author Tasha Suri comes The Isle in the Silver Sea, a heart-shattering standalone romantasy of sapphic longing, medieval folklore and a love that spans the centuries.
★ “Beautifully inevitable and surprising at the same time.” –Kirkus (Starred Review)
★ “A sensuous and haunting story of love beyond time.” –Library Journal (Starred Review)
In an England fuelled by stories, the knight and the witch are fated to fall in love and doom each other over and over, the same tale retold over hundreds of lifetimes.
Simran is a witch of the woods. Vina is a knight of the Queen’s court. When the two women begin to fall for each other, how can they surrender to their desires, when to give in is to destroy each other?
As they seek a way to break the cycle, a mysterious assassin begins targeting tales like theirs. To survive, the two will need to write a story stronger than the one that fate has given to them.
But what tale is stronger than The Knight and the Witch?
Soul Searching by Lyla Sage is $2.99! This one came out last September and it was mentioned on Hide Your Wallet. Did any of you add this to your TBR pile?
Home is where the heart is—and this one is haunted.
The #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Rebel Blue Ranch series returns with a brand-new story, featuring a small-town upholsterer in need of a fresh start, a photographer whose life has come to a screeching halt . . . and the supernatural forces that bring them together.
Collins Cartwright does not want to go home. Sweetwater Peak, Wyoming, was supposed to be in her rearview mirror, but when she finds out a developer is trying to buy her parents’ antiques shop out from under them, she doesn’t have a choice—at least, that’s what she tells her family. They don’t need to know she’s lost her job and is out of money. Or that the ghosts who have always been her companions have recently gone silent.
But just because she’s returned home doesn’t mean she has to stay with her parents or crash on her twin sister’s couch. Lucky for her, the new-to-town upholsterer has a room for rent above his store. Unluckily, it is absolutely crawling with more ghosts who are freezing her out. And Collins hates being ignored.
Brady Cooper is absolutely and totally fine. Seriously, there’s no secret reason why he decided to uproot his life and suddenly move to Sweetwater Peak. He just needed a change of pace. At least that’s what he tells himself. And everyone else.
When he agrees to let the elusive Collins Cartwright stay in his spare room, he doesn’t know that she’s absolutely bonkers—constantly talking to herself and having conversations with no one—or that she looked like that. But as they begin to get closer, the lines between them start to blur, leaving both of them—and the ghosts who have been pushing them together—wondering whether their temporary arrangement could be something more permanent.
In the Veins of the Drowning by Kalie Cassidy is $2.99! This is book on in the Siren Mage series and book two released over the summer. Love the cover on this one!
An “atmospheric and evocative” (Rachel Gillig) romantasy debut about a threatened Siren who forges a bond with a brooding, self-righteous king in order to flee the king who raised her, for fans of One Dark Window and For the Wolf.
The monster is always slain…
Imogen Nel is in hiding. Hiding from a cruel kingdom that believes Sirens are monstrous, blood-hungry creatures. Hiding from a king and his captain who viciously hunt her kind. Hiding from her own alluring abilities. By keeping herself from the sea, Imogen’s bloodlust is dulled, and her black wings remain hidden beneath her skin.
When a neighboring king comes to visit, Imogen can no longer hide. He knows precisely what she is, and he believes she can save both their kingdoms from an even greater monster. But Imogen’s power threatens to violently reveal itself, and the two form a blood bond that protects them both. They flee the kingdom together, traversing waters teeming with the undead. As the lines between duty to their people and desire for each other begin to blur, Imogen worries her own ancestral powers may not be enough to kill what hunts her—the only way to defeat a monster may be to become one herself.
notalwaysright_feedRead The Internet Of (Every) Things
A customer is at my checkout, but before she hands over an item to be scanned:
Customer: "Can you price check this and see how much they sell it for at Walmart?"
Me: "No, ma'am, I can't do that."
Customer: "Why not?!"
notalwaysright_feedRead Family Gatherings Are Taxing
Brother-In-Law: "How are things over in Sharia town?"
Me: "Huh?"
Brother-In-Law: "Now that you got that terrorist mayor?"
Me: "Our Muslim mayor is doing just fine, thank you."
smartbitches_feedThis HaBO is from Azaleah, who wants to find this sci-fi romance:
I don’t remember any of their names but here are some plot points that I’ve kind of condensed.
The Heroine’s Abduction: She is finally on a long-awaited beach vacation, feels a sharp stinging sensation in her neck, and completely blackouts.
The Inciting Incident: She wakes up on an alien ship and is told a cosmic council destroyed Earth. She is the last surviving human.
The Alien Species: Their true, natural forms are golden balls of light / energy entities. They are hiding their true forms because they are the last ship of their kind.
Shapeshifting: They project human/humanoid forms. The heroine fights with the captain because he forces his crew to use basic or lesser forms, demanding he give them permission to look just as attractive and customized as he does. Once they pick a form they like, they lock it in.
The Plot Twist: The captain initially tells her she will be sold to the highest bidder, but he chooses to keep her.
The Villains: They are being actively hunted by a aggressive, lizard-like alien species. I don’t remember for sure if they were lizards but it’s common enough that I could be getting a little mixed up.
The Ending: She ends up pregnant with the captain’s baby. During a space battle, the crew goes to rescue another captive member of their light-species (implied to be the captain’s sister). They hide the pregnant heroine in a small spot in the cargo hold under blankets to keep her safe, setting up book two.
Azaleah also mentioned this could be a serial.
notalwaysright_feedRead The Number Two Bus
I walk up to a bus stop and sit on the bench. Next to me is another person, speaking loudly on the phone.
Stranger: "You need to figure out if there's any other medication I can take except for this one!"
Read The Number Two Bus
notalwaysright_feedRead Selective Hearing Gets Selective Service
Cashier: "You're not listening to me, sir. I'm trying to help you, but if you don't listen to me, I'll have to help the next customer."
Customer: "I'm not listening to you because you're not telling me what I want to hear!"
notalwaysright_feedIm the author of https://notalwaysright.com/why-do-you-need-to-know-lady/368090/ and wanted to Share another interaction I had with an angry woman In my hometown, there was a large hiking/biking trail that went through a park and next to a creek, very commonly used by joggers. Back in the hell year that was 2020, I had decided to bike along […]
notalwaysright_feed40 years ago I was moving from Boise to Seattle, hauling most of my possesssions in a trailer behind a Volkwagen. It was April, when I had been assured the weather would most likely be clear. Well, it wasn’t. After dark on the second day I crested Snoqualmie Pass at the best speed I could […]
notalwaysright_feedRead When Clients Fly Off The Wall
I had to very slowly explain that I was IT and not a general contractor or electrician, and punching holes in drywall is way out of my wheelhouse.
Cue the most embarrassingly awkward "get out of my house if you can’t do the work!" rant I’ve ever received.
notalwaysright_feedI go into the break room for my break, and a few of my coworkers are there as well. [Coworker 1] is spreading something on crackers. For those unfamiliar, “cracker” is also slang for white people. Coworker 1: “Oh, I broke a cracker!” Me: “Hey, a broken cracker, just like me!” Coworker 1: *laughing* “You […]
notalwaysright_feedRead Canned Goods, And Not-So-Goods
Customer: "I'm looking for the cans that have the longest use-by dates! I don't like oxidized food!"
Me: "Oxidized? Ma'am, these are canned goods. They're sealed off from anything outside them until you open them."
notalwaysright_feed - The Ambigrams Would Like To Have A Word…notalwaysright_feed - Going The Extra Yard To Explain Itnotalwaysright_feed - When You Keep Receiptsnotalwaysright_feed - Missing In Inactionnotalwaysright_feed - Only Mostly Insultednotalwaysright_feed - Not Proving Vectoriousnotalwaysright_feed - A Beautiful Teachable Momentsmartbitches_feed - Sirens, Small Town Romance, & Morenotalwaysright_feed - The Internet Of (Every) Thingsnotalwaysright_feed - Family Gatherings Are Taxingsmartbitches_feed - HaBO: She’s the Last Surviving Humannotalwaysright_feed - The Number Two Busnotalwaysright_feed - Selective Hearing Gets Selective Servicenotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - When Clients Fly Off The Wallnotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - Canned Goods, And Not-So-Goods![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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